Not into traditional vows? Same.
When you’re planning a wedding or elopement that’s already breaking the rules – skipping the big guest list, ditching the white dress, or saying your vows by the ocean instead of in a church – you deserve words that feel just as personal.
Inclusive vows are for anyone who wants to make promises without assumptions – about gender, roles, religion, or how love is “supposed to” look.
So here’s a gentle guide to writing vows that feel like you. No pressure. No cringe. Just real words, real feelings, and the freedom to speak your truth.
What Makes Wedding Vows Inclusive?
It’s not just about avoiding gendered language – it’s about honoring the uniqueness of your relationship and making space for all kinds of love, identities, and lived experiences. Inclusive vows…
- Avoid phrases like “husband and wife” or “man and wife”
- Skip outdated roles (no one’s “obeying” anyone here)
- Reflect chosen family, cultural values, or personal beliefs
- Use names or “partner,” “love,” or “best friend” instead of titles
Vow Writing Prompts to Get You Started
Not sure where to begin? Try finishing these sentences:
- I knew I loved you when…
- You make me feel…
- I promise to always…
- I hope our life includes…
- Even when it’s hard, I will…
A Note on Elopement Vows
If you’re exchanging vows in a quiet spot by the cliffs, on a mountaintop, or barefoot in the woods, you don’t need a long speech. Speak softly. Whisper if you want. Bring a little vow book, write one sentence, or just hold each other. The magic is already there.
Tips for Writing Your Own Vows
- Write like you speak. Don’t try to be poetic if that’s not you.
- Start early. Vows written the night before can be amazing… but don’t count on it.
- It’s okay to cry. Or laugh. Or swear. Or pause.
- Your promises don’t have to be forever things. You can vow to grow, to try, to show up – not to be perfect.
From a Photographer’s POV…
As someone who documents love in all its forms, I’ve heard vows whispered in the rain, scribbled in notebooks, spoken in two languages, or simply said with a smile and a squeeze of the hand.
There’s no right way – only your way.
